Partner Abuse Prevention can only occur when we understand the problem and commit ourselves to sharing this information with others in our community. 
 
  What is Partner Abuse?  
     
 
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Partner Abuse (Domestic Violence) is defined as assaults and controlling behaviour in which one intimate partner uses physical violence, coercion, threats, intimidation, isolation, or emotional, sexual, or economic abuse to control the other partner in the relationship. It happens within all age ranges, ethnic backgrounds, and financial levels. The abuse may occur during a relationship, while the couple is breaking up, or after the relationship has ended.

Although men also suffer from domestic abuse and violence, women are five to eight times more likely than men to be victimized by an intimate partner.  An intimate partner may be defined as any of the following: spouse, former spouse, person who lives with or used to live with the other partner, person who shares a child in common with the other partner, and/or dating relationships.

 
"It's Not Your Fault"
 
   
 
  What to do if you are experiencing violence from a partner  
 

1.  Call your local RCMP detachment or the Marystown Detachment at 279-3001.  RCMP will act on all reports of partner abuse. Physical assaults, stalking, harassment and intimidation are all criminal code offences.

If you are in fear for your life or your partner has made a threat on your life please contact the RCMP immediately regarding an Emergency Protection Order (EPO). 

2.  Contact Grace Sparkes House Crisis Line at 279-3562 or toll free at 1 877 774 4957. Grace Sparkes House can provide you with a free confidential 24 hr 7 days a week safe haven from the violence you are experiencing.  Grace Sparkes House can help you find out about laws and community resources that are available to you in your community.  They can also help you plan ways stay safe.
If your partner has been charged with assault against you and or your child contact Victim Services office in Marystown at 279-3216 for information and support.

3.  Ask your doctor or a friend to take photographs of your injuries and make sure that they are put in your medical records, or in a safe place with a written description of what happened.  This information will make it easier for you if you decide to take legal action in the future, such as getting a peace bond, pressing criminal charges, or obtaining child custody if you need to do this.
After an incident of violence or threat write everything down.  This will be important if you decide later to press charges.

4. Arrange a signal with a neighbor to let them know when you need help (i.e.: turning a porch light on during the day, or pulling down a particular window shade).

 
 

Are you being abused?

  

Recognizing the warning signs and symptoms of partner abuse is the first step to breaking free.
SIGNS OF AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP back to top
Your Inner Thoughts and Feelings Do you....

feel afraid of your partner much of the time?

avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?

feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?

believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?

wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?

feel emotionally numb or helpless? 
Your Partner’s Belittling Behavior Does your partner...

 

 

humiliate, criticize, or yell at you?

treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?

ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?

blame you for his own abusive behavior?

see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?

Your Partner’s Violent Behavior or Threats Does your partner...

 

have a bad and unpredictable temper?

hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you? 

threaten to take your children away or harm them?

threaten to commit suicide if you leave?

force you to have sex?

destroy your belongings?

 
Your Partner’s Controlling Behavior Does your partner...
 

act excessively jealous and possessive?

control where you go or what you do?

keep you from seeing your friends or family?

limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?

constantly check up on you?
 
 

How can you help a friend who is experiencing violence from their partner?

  
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1. Set a time to talk.
Set aside a time to talk privately with your friend. Make sure you talk in a quiet place where you won't be distracted.

2. Let your friend know you're concerned about her safety.
Be honest. Help them to see the abuse. Tell them about times when you were worried about their safety. Help them see that what they are going through is not normal and that they deserve better. Let them know you are concerned about them and want to help.

3. Let your friend know you understand she's in a tough situation.
Make sure they know the abuse is not their fault. Tell them that they is not alone, that they have many people who love them and care about them. Let them know there is help and support out there.

4. Be supportive.
Listen to your friend. Keep in mind that it may be very hard for them to talk about the abuse. Let them know that you are there to help them.

5. Don't place shame, blame, or guilt on your friend.
Don't say, "You just need to leave." Instead, say something like, "I get scared thinking about what might happen to you."
They may decide to stay in the relationship, or they may leave and then go back to the relationship many times. It may be hard for you to understand, but there are lots of reasons people stay in abusive relationships. Be supportive, no matter what your friend decides to do.

6. Encourage your friend.
Encourage them to do things, outside of the relationship, with friends and family.

7. Help them make a safety plan.

8. If your friend decides to leave, continue to be supportive.
Even though the relationship was abusive, they may still feel sad and lonely once it is over.

Offer to help them find a local domestic violence agency. If they decide to take this step and get help, offer to go with her to the agency, to talk to friends and family, to the police, or to court.

9. Keep in mind that you can't "rescue" your friend.
They have to be the one to decide it's time to get help. Support them no matter what their decision is.

10. Let your friend know that you will always be there no matter what.
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Components of a Healthy Relationship

Both people feel good about themselves as individuals and allow for the individuality of the other.
 
There is a sense of humour and play.
 
Communication is honest, but caring clear and specific, and each truly listens to the other.

Expectations are clear, realistic, agreed upon, and always negotiable.

Both person respect and value one another.

Each experiences oneness and separateness from their a partner.

Both partners enjoy giving and receiving similarly.

They bring out each other's best qualities.

Trust is always present.